Love

As defined by Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary:

1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
b : an assurance of love
2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
3 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another:

so, I have to ask, is that the definition of love?
I mean, I know it is in the dictionary, but is possible that we could have our definition of 'love'?
is it wrong that what I believe 'love' is for me could be different for another?

I suppose it's like anything else, we interpret things with out mind, our heart and soul and it may be different that what others see it as.
kind of like asking someone if a glass that is half filled with water, is it half full or half empty?
well, it's both. So two different views can mean the same thing.

my friend Tracie, she loves another that won't love her and I love her knowing she won't love me. She says she can understand HOW I can do that. But the thing is, she can't, because she's not me.
just like I have no clue how she could love him.

I don't see how she could.
she says she is still attracted to him and she likes that he is still to her. She broke up with him, why would he stop being attracted to her?
but what could she be in love with?
she says she knows he won't change who he is and honestly no one will unless they want to.
he has no respect for her or for love.
he says he won't love her. He has openly admitted to lying to her.
and yet she still loves him and wants to be his friend and probably more.
she says he has good qualities, but should anyone have to deal with the bad just to love?
and why would you want someone as a friend that you know for a fact lies to you?

see, I don't understand any of that and I would never tell her I understand her feelings toward him because I feel like that towards her, because I don't.

I love Tracie.
I love her as a friend and as more than that.
I told her that I loved her always as a friend but that I wasn't 'totally in love with her'. For this I got a verbal lashing saying that I can't ask her things and say things to her if I didn't love her that way. what way?
first thing I thought, was "who the hell is she to tell me HOW I should love?!"
my ideas of love, the love that fills my heart is very complex, as I'm sure it is for everyone.

my love isn't in the dictionary.
my love is MINE to give or not.
my love is NEVER the same every time.
every time love comes, it feels incredible.
every time it goes, it hurts like hell.
but in time, love returns and as it has changed, it also stays the same as it is always mine.

I know what it is, not so much what is missing. But partly what is missing.
of course Tracie would say that what the part of love that is missing, is that I want her to love me. But that isn't it. I know what it is, most of the time. From time to time I forget and when I feel it again it has changed again.

so, how can I love her, full knowing that she probably won't feel that way about me.
honestly? Because she is a good friend. She is one that is willing to listen, she is one that I know would never do anything to disrespect me, I know that she would never lie to me or do anything on purpose to hurt me.
even when I feel like I have, like she is holding something back, I still believe she won't hurt me. Of course if she does, then I will be the fool.

if that was to happen, would I still be her friend? Could I still?
it would take time for me, but I still would be her friend. Granted I will say, we would never be so close again as I'd be too afraid to be hurt again.

but part of me believes that will never happen (granted I'm still a skeptic, I may change my mind on that). Tracie is my friend. And I love her.
my love is different that that she has for her x-boyfriend, but then Tracie and I are very different.