New Years Depression

so how do i keep my head above water this year?

do i think of projects i want to do but probably won't complete?
do i dream about things that are just too impossible to ever be?
do i work the overtime so that my free time is full and others around me don't feel guilty about doing something with someone else?
do i stop being available, stop calling just so that there is no guilt in anyone getting a hold of me to ask me to do simple things?
do i stop getting jealous or stop caring about someone possibly getting hurt again?
do i just give up on love?
do i forget about how love and life are suppose to feel?
should i stop trying to be there for friends even when they didn't realize they needed someone?

should i even care about waking up?
should i drink well past what i would usually drink?
do i even want to wake up in the morning?
who would reall care if i didn't wake up?
shit, would they even notice?


a life and time with giving sucks when you give and don't get anything in return that really makes you feel as you are doing something wrong.

right now i hurt so much, i don't care....